(Okay, shut up. I'm not referring to my mental state. Or maybe... I am. Hmmm....)
Either I'm losing my mind, or the genetic pool is shrinking at an astronomical rate, and now we have Stepford celebrities.
Have you SEEN this Zooey Deschanel / Katy Perry / Lizzy Caplan thing? It's downright weird.
Being totally out of the coolness loop, I hadn't heard of any of these folks until the kids and I recently picked up a really weird movie thing (like a mini-series, really) called Tin Man, which I primarily wanted because it had Alan Cumming (whom I think is hot in a painfully weird, almost Peewee Herman kinda way) with a zipper on his head. Anyway, the girl in the movie, which is a bizarre take-off on the Wizard of Oz story, is Zooey Deschanel, famous enough that I had seen her before on something, but not enough that I had a clue who she is. She turned out to be a decent actress, so when I saw a picture of her on the internet, with the tag line "She kissed a girl... and liked it" I was a little disturbed. Then, it turns out, the article claims this isn't the same person. Yet looking at the picture, it surely was. So I went and got the movie box. (Okay, I sent Katie to get the blinkin' movie box. She's 15. Isn't that why we have teenagers?) I held the box up to the computer screen, and honestly... the similarity is so strong that I had to google it. And sure enough, it turns out that there are thousands of folks out there freaking out over the same thing I am, sort of. Because its not just the two of them. There's another one - Lizzie Caplan - and it's just downright creepy how much they look alike. People have posted all kinds of thoughts about how they were separated at birth (several years apart!), but I have my own idea. Here's how it goes...
So about 30 years ago, there was this nerdy scientist guy who bumped into a really hot girl at the A&P. He was just knocked out by how gorgeous she was, and he got a little bit obsessed. And when she dropped her purse in line in front of him, and a comb fell out, while he was helping her cram her stuff back in the bag, he discreetly pocketed the comb, which he took home to snatch her DNA from, to use in the first major human cloning project. Now, he wasn't really interested in the medical benefits associated with cloning. He was more of the wimpy, geeky genius type, who was so obsessed with his own empty life, that he was more motivated by the attempt to recreate his dream girl. So he cloned her. Several times. And obviously, with some success. Of course, then he had the significant trauma of realizing she was an infant, and before she was old enough for him, he'd be impotent. So, being a dork, he decided on the next best thing - a social experiment. He took his "triplets" and sent them to three totally different families in totally different places all around the country, to be raised by families with different values and lifestyles, to see if when they hit 30, they'd have the same favorite color, or all marry a guy named Brian. His plan backfired, though, when he failed to realize that the type of hotness in question could potentially result in his special girls falling into the public eye. And now, of course, he has gone into hiding in a cave in the mountains of Montana, in hopes that no one ever realizes that he manipulated human lives in hopes of creating his own Galatea.
What does our adoration of these cookie-cutter women say about our society? Hmmm. Maybe nothing. Maybe it says that we like tiny women with big bangs. :) (sorry... couldn't resist).
I'll tell you what worries me though. How many of them are out there who are NOT in the public eye? And what have they done with my hair-dresser????
