Kirby Doesn't Suck Like a Hoover

(Originally written 6/21 /2008, and hanging in the DRAFTS box because I guess I hit the wrong button!)

Recently I discovered an interesting website that I've become at least mildly addicted to: http://newsformormons.com/ and it includes blogs by some of the most brilliant minds of our time - such as Orson Scott Card, of whom I am a major fan.

So today, when I was catching up on the weeks worth of news since I last surfed the site, I found a story about Kirby Heyborne, a Mormon actor whom I greatly admire, being blasted for having been in a beer commercial that was apparently aired during the NBA playoffs.

Now, I watched the commercial (on Youtube) and frankly I had a tough time deciding which guy was Kirby. He was definitely not the one with his face on the ground. Another article said he grabs a beer bottle outside of a party - if so, I couldn't even see that guy's face, so how do you know? I *THINK* he might have been dude #2 - following around the guy who kept pressing his face to the ground. Ultimately, though, all that I saw that guy do was hunt for a party. (Note -- I finally saw this commercial on actual tv on July 2 - and Kirby was definitely the guy grabbing the beer bottle....)

Now, that much said... Orson Scott Card wrote an awesome, painfully sarcastic response in which he slams people for slamming Kirby for trying to support his family however he possibly could. He says that just being in a commercial for something isn't the same as endorsing it. He makes some tough comparisons that I don't have the time or energy to begin to address.

But I have a thought or two.

A while back, in my delightful job as assistant principal at a local high school, I was informed by my boss that we would be getting together over the weekend to prepare for a big upcoming event. Further discussion revealed that she and the other AP would be at school both Saturday AND Sunday and I was expected to play along. I'll admit, I was a little nervous. While I can't claim to be the absolute most totally righteous person that ever lived, I do make an effort, and I just could not find a way to justify working on Sunday. I think it's different if you're a paramedic or a law enforcement officer, or if there's an emergency situation of some sort. Anyway, this wasn't, and so I didn't. And now, I'm not going to have that job any more. Is there a relationship here? Probably not. Ultimately, I think my boss was pretty understanding about me not working on Sundays. But in today's society, even that tiny concession to God seems weird. I can't tell you how many times we've been invited out to a restaurant or the beach, or to a party on a Sunday afternoon, and the confused responses we've received when we've explained that we don't do those things even AFTER church.

Yes, I know I've gone around the block to get next door... but here's my point.

I'm a little disappointed in Kirby. Even though we live in Florida, have never been to Utah and aren't related to any Mormons who don't live in our house, we do buy those movies, and we talk about those actors, and we hold them to a higher standard than the typical Hollywood character. His argument for making the commercial was that he had to support his family. I find that a little weak, simply because there are always other choices - perhaps choices that force us to live a different lifestyle, or make sacrifices that we'd rather not... but there are always other choices.

That much said, does one beer commercial make Kirby into Satan? No. He screwed up, and I'm sure he knows it, and I'm sure a lot of people have been unkind and unforgiving enough to point it out to him repeatedly. However... so have I. And so have you. And we're lucky enough not to have such public lives that our screw-ups make it to the news. So as we consider blasting him for damaging his own reputation with a career mistake, I think we'd do better to consider the motes and beams for a minute and back off the man. He's only accountable for his choices to the Eternal, and I believe he knows enough about what's right to make it right with Him.

So... good luck to you, Kirby. I've forgiven you, because I've done much worse than pretend to go to a party where beer was the main attraction. And when your next LDS movie comes out, I'm still going to buy it because, in spite of the whole beer thing... you don't suck.