I just have to quickly post this note, after my last rant.
It's related to the Murphy's law thing, somehow. Things don't have to just go wrong, so much as prove me wrong though. I should have made all of those obnoxious claims about the men on these LDS dating sites a long, long time ago.
Tonight a fellow sent me a smile... and he turns out to be nothing like the jerks that I complained about in my rant. In fact, he and I have so much in common, my daughter suggested that I might have made him up and written his profile myself!
Hmmm... unless I'm having a really bizarre version of that "Faces of Eve" thing... I may have actually been contacted by a man who is not a cretin or a reject of any sort. He's a college graduate, gainfully employed, a Gator fan, loves his kids, (named one of them after me)....
Maybe now I need to write a rant about the steadily increasing price of gasoline. Apparently, I have an untapped gift!!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Lookin' For Love in All the Wrong Places
You know, I found my last husband on the Internet. We always told people we met at the mall - and we did. Or at least that's where we arranged to actually meet for the first time after finding each other through an Internet dating service (which shall remain nameless so as to prevent people from mistaking what is about to be a rant for an endorsement of said service).
Since the man is the father of my darling son, I will refrain from the urge to spend the next hour describing what a witless cretin he is. Suffice it to say, he left when his absolutely perfect gift-from-God son, whom he had BEGGED me to have for 2 years, was only 6 weeks old. And I keep hoping one day he'll remember what child support is, and perhaps pay some.
But I digress. (I have been known to do that.) This is not about the cheese-ball I was married to. It's really about the cheese-balls I'm not ever going to marry.
So... being a single mother, and very active member of the LDS Church, I feel a certain need to locate a viable candidate, get married in the temple, and follow the traditions of a "real" Mormon family. (This may be, in small part, due to the fact that my 4 year old son told me the other day that "I need a daddy in my house!" and "Mommy, if you don't find me a daddy, you can marry me, and I'll be the daddy, cuz I love you!" - Obvious evidence that he's spent way too much time listening to his two teenage sisters.)
Anyway, following the motivations of my heart and my church (and my son), I signed up for a membership on a certain dating website that is designed and intended only for members of the LDS church to meet up, pair up and get hitched. What a stroke of brilliance that was.
Now, as far as the site itself is concerned, I only have one issue - all of the men who are members of a dating site for Mormons who are clearly and obviously NOT Mormon! I'm referring to the intellectually challenged twits who call themselves delightful names like "Well-Hung-Joe" and explain, in their interests, that they "don't have a drinking problem - I drink, I get drunk, I fall down - no problem!" Yes, that sort of humor is definitely going to draw lots of attention from a society of female teetotalers.
I guess they probably can't legally discriminate against the idiots who don't know what the LDS in the name of the website means. But for you morons who haven't caught my drift yet, it's not Lazy - Derelict - Sexoffenders.
Ahem.
Anyway, back to the purpose of my rant.
If one can overlook the geniuses who haven't realized where they belong yet, there are two primary groups of men to choose from on this site:
- 1 - the extremely young returned missionaries who hit every branch on the ugly tree while they were falling out of it, who are currently unemployed (but looking!) and living in one city or another in the lovely state of Utah, most likely with their parents, and who will probably find their soul-mate at a Singles Ward activity.
- 2 - the 49-53 year old never-been-married before bachelor.
Now this guy comes in two versions as well:
- a - the fitness freak who has never had a real, committed relationship before which translates into having too much time on his hands. Of course, he's not too creative, since the best thing he could come up with to do with all of that time was to try out-buff Mr. Universe. Of course, in his photos one will also see that he has taken every opportunity to show off his razor-sharp pecs (if not his razor-sharp mind) at every extreme sporting opportunity he could come up with - hang-gliding, sky-diving, rock-climbing - all manner of exertion, with absolutely zero productivity. But Mormon women don't value a man who is productive, do they???
- b - the balding, pot-bellied plumber / postal worker / CEO whose entire profile describes what his fantasy woman entails - and tells you little or nothing about him. And of course, every 49-53 year old balding, pot-bellied bachelor makes a point of telling you that the "overweight chicks" need not apply - ditto for the divorced, working women, and all of those females over 25 years of age. Every one of these Einsteins believes that his comb-over and root-beer belly qualifies him for a blonde, 23 year old beauty queen. Of course, this may well explain why the guy is a 53 year old never-married bachelor. That train has passed, man! Wake the heck up!!
*SIGH*
I'm going to be a millionaire one day. I'm going to open up an LDS matchmaking website that caters to women. We will check the guys' temple recommends, and get references from their Bishops. We will refuse to match men with women more than 10 years younger than them (unless the WOMAN requested it... there's an Anna Nicole in every religion, I'm sure) - and we will require men to have some sort of a hobby or pastime which is not all about making THEM look good!
Okay, I'll probably go broke. Hey, come to think of it... that's one goal I've already half-way achieved!! That makes me feel pretty good about myself... guess my work here is done. :)
Since the man is the father of my darling son, I will refrain from the urge to spend the next hour describing what a witless cretin he is. Suffice it to say, he left when his absolutely perfect gift-from-God son, whom he had BEGGED me to have for 2 years, was only 6 weeks old. And I keep hoping one day he'll remember what child support is, and perhaps pay some.
But I digress. (I have been known to do that.) This is not about the cheese-ball I was married to. It's really about the cheese-balls I'm not ever going to marry.
So... being a single mother, and very active member of the LDS Church, I feel a certain need to locate a viable candidate, get married in the temple, and follow the traditions of a "real" Mormon family. (This may be, in small part, due to the fact that my 4 year old son told me the other day that "I need a daddy in my house!" and "Mommy, if you don't find me a daddy, you can marry me, and I'll be the daddy, cuz I love you!" - Obvious evidence that he's spent way too much time listening to his two teenage sisters.)
Anyway, following the motivations of my heart and my church (and my son), I signed up for a membership on a certain dating website that is designed and intended only for members of the LDS church to meet up, pair up and get hitched. What a stroke of brilliance that was.
Now, as far as the site itself is concerned, I only have one issue - all of the men who are members of a dating site for Mormons who are clearly and obviously NOT Mormon! I'm referring to the intellectually challenged twits who call themselves delightful names like "Well-Hung-Joe" and explain, in their interests, that they "don't have a drinking problem - I drink, I get drunk, I fall down - no problem!" Yes, that sort of humor is definitely going to draw lots of attention from a society of female teetotalers.
I guess they probably can't legally discriminate against the idiots who don't know what the LDS in the name of the website means. But for you morons who haven't caught my drift yet, it's not Lazy - Derelict - Sexoffenders.
Ahem.
Anyway, back to the purpose of my rant.
If one can overlook the geniuses who haven't realized where they belong yet, there are two primary groups of men to choose from on this site:
- 1 - the extremely young returned missionaries who hit every branch on the ugly tree while they were falling out of it, who are currently unemployed (but looking!) and living in one city or another in the lovely state of Utah, most likely with their parents, and who will probably find their soul-mate at a Singles Ward activity.
- 2 - the 49-53 year old never-been-married before bachelor.
Now this guy comes in two versions as well:
- a - the fitness freak who has never had a real, committed relationship before which translates into having too much time on his hands. Of course, he's not too creative, since the best thing he could come up with to do with all of that time was to try out-buff Mr. Universe. Of course, in his photos one will also see that he has taken every opportunity to show off his razor-sharp pecs (if not his razor-sharp mind) at every extreme sporting opportunity he could come up with - hang-gliding, sky-diving, rock-climbing - all manner of exertion, with absolutely zero productivity. But Mormon women don't value a man who is productive, do they???
- b - the balding, pot-bellied plumber / postal worker / CEO whose entire profile describes what his fantasy woman entails - and tells you little or nothing about him. And of course, every 49-53 year old balding, pot-bellied bachelor makes a point of telling you that the "overweight chicks" need not apply - ditto for the divorced, working women, and all of those females over 25 years of age. Every one of these Einsteins believes that his comb-over and root-beer belly qualifies him for a blonde, 23 year old beauty queen. Of course, this may well explain why the guy is a 53 year old never-married bachelor. That train has passed, man! Wake the heck up!!
*SIGH*
I'm going to be a millionaire one day. I'm going to open up an LDS matchmaking website that caters to women. We will check the guys' temple recommends, and get references from their Bishops. We will refuse to match men with women more than 10 years younger than them (unless the WOMAN requested it... there's an Anna Nicole in every religion, I'm sure) - and we will require men to have some sort of a hobby or pastime which is not all about making THEM look good!
Okay, I'll probably go broke. Hey, come to think of it... that's one goal I've already half-way achieved!! That makes me feel pretty good about myself... guess my work here is done. :)
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Premonitions... and Other Intriguing Ideas...
One of the coolest things about being unemployed (and there are SO many!) is finally having time to read all of those books you've been dreaming about. (Of course, this makes the assumption you have a library card, since you can no longer afford to buy them... but that's a whole different rant.)
Anyway, the other day I bought a book called Premonition by Randy Ingermanson. This was not the type of book I'd normally buy. My usual type is either a minimally graphic romance - often Nora Roberts - or preferably a romance with a Christian theme, since I can feel pretty confident those won't suddenly turn into bodice rippers, something old Nora can't always be counted on for. Anyway, this is neither.
I really bought it for two reasons: #1 - I was perusing the stacks at the Christian book store next door to the movie theater while I was waiting to take my kids to see "Journey to the Center of the Earth" (cool, but ends abruptly, and seems lacking in the sense of doom which should
certainly accompany a trip to the center of the earth)... and I found this book on the discount $3.97 table. Usually, these books are $3.97 for a reason - but once in a while, there's a gem, and I'm a sucker for a good bargain. #2 - the cover of the book had a sticker on it which issued an irresistible challenge - We guarantee you'll love this book or we'll refund your money. Isn't that brilliant? If I was cheap, I'd have read it, said I hated it, and sent for my four bucks anyway. Luckily, my conscience wouldn't allow me to do that... particularly since I LOVED the book.
Here's the deal - it's book two in a series, but you really don't have to read book 1 to follow it (I certainly didn't. It was probably on the $13.97 table.) The premise behind it is that this couple, Ari and Rivka, are a couple of modern day Jews (she's "Messianic" which apparently means she believes that Jesus is the Messiah but she's still a Jew, and he WAS agnostic, but ... well... )
Anyway, through some sort of a science project accident which happened in the first book (Ari is a physicist), the two of them manage to get zapped back into ancient Jerusalem, in the years shortly following the resurrection of Christ. While the idea is a little sci-fi-weird, it gives a really unusual insight into what the life of practicing Jews was like back in Jesus' time, using and explaining a lot of Hebrew terminology, while presenting a fascinating, if heart-wrenching, plot about the experiences these two American Jews have while trying to prevent the assassination of James, the brother of Jesus.
I won't give any more of the story away, but I will definitely recommend it. It was enthralling.
It raised some questions for me though.
So... we know that Jesus was a Jew - that He attended the temple and participated in the rituals of the religion during that period, right? I'm sure He followed all of the rules about kosher dining, and so forth. So....
If Jesus was a practicing Jew, and He's supposed to be our example for how to live, then why aren't Christians more like Jews?
Now, I know that the scriptures say that we no longer need to practice ritual sacrifice since Jesus provided the ultimate redemption Himself, but what about the rest of it? Why don't Christians, if they really want to be more like Christ, actually do the things He did?
I suspect that this is largely due to ignorance. As for me and my house - well, prior to reading this book I never really thought about how Jesus conducted Himself on a daily basis. I mean, sure I thought about being kind to others, and turning the other cheek, and the moral of all those parables that Jesus taught. But what about the rest of it? I wonder if He expects us to... or has He, over the last couple of thousand years, realized we've forgotten all of that stuff, and decided we're pretty okay people in spite of it?
This is a topic which will require much further investigation on my part. I'm sure I'll post on it again. In the mean time, feel free to share your comments. Thanks.
Anyway, the other day I bought a book called Premonition by Randy Ingermanson. This was not the type of book I'd normally buy. My usual type is either a minimally graphic romance - often Nora Roberts - or preferably a romance with a Christian theme, since I can feel pretty confident those won't suddenly turn into bodice rippers, something old Nora can't always be counted on for. Anyway, this is neither.
I really bought it for two reasons: #1 - I was perusing the stacks at the Christian book store next door to the movie theater while I was waiting to take my kids to see "Journey to the Center of the Earth" (cool, but ends abruptly, and seems lacking in the sense of doom which should
certainly accompany a trip to the center of the earth)... and I found this book on the discount $3.97 table. Usually, these books are $3.97 for a reason - but once in a while, there's a gem, and I'm a sucker for a good bargain. #2 - the cover of the book had a sticker on it which issued an irresistible challenge - We guarantee you'll love this book or we'll refund your money. Isn't that brilliant? If I was cheap, I'd have read it, said I hated it, and sent for my four bucks anyway. Luckily, my conscience wouldn't allow me to do that... particularly since I LOVED the book.Here's the deal - it's book two in a series, but you really don't have to read book 1 to follow it (I certainly didn't. It was probably on the $13.97 table.) The premise behind it is that this couple, Ari and Rivka, are a couple of modern day Jews (she's "Messianic" which apparently means she believes that Jesus is the Messiah but she's still a Jew, and he WAS agnostic, but ... well... )
Anyway, through some sort of a science project accident which happened in the first book (Ari is a physicist), the two of them manage to get zapped back into ancient Jerusalem, in the years shortly following the resurrection of Christ. While the idea is a little sci-fi-weird, it gives a really unusual insight into what the life of practicing Jews was like back in Jesus' time, using and explaining a lot of Hebrew terminology, while presenting a fascinating, if heart-wrenching, plot about the experiences these two American Jews have while trying to prevent the assassination of James, the brother of Jesus.
I won't give any more of the story away, but I will definitely recommend it. It was enthralling.
It raised some questions for me though.
So... we know that Jesus was a Jew - that He attended the temple and participated in the rituals of the religion during that period, right? I'm sure He followed all of the rules about kosher dining, and so forth. So....
If Jesus was a practicing Jew, and He's supposed to be our example for how to live, then why aren't Christians more like Jews?
Now, I know that the scriptures say that we no longer need to practice ritual sacrifice since Jesus provided the ultimate redemption Himself, but what about the rest of it? Why don't Christians, if they really want to be more like Christ, actually do the things He did?
I suspect that this is largely due to ignorance. As for me and my house - well, prior to reading this book I never really thought about how Jesus conducted Himself on a daily basis. I mean, sure I thought about being kind to others, and turning the other cheek, and the moral of all those parables that Jesus taught. But what about the rest of it? I wonder if He expects us to... or has He, over the last couple of thousand years, realized we've forgotten all of that stuff, and decided we're pretty okay people in spite of it?
This is a topic which will require much further investigation on my part. I'm sure I'll post on it again. In the mean time, feel free to share your comments. Thanks.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Unemployed - With Promise...
This morning I officially woke up unemployed, sort of. I do have a classroom, with a job attached, which will begin this fall, and my stuff is there, and I have a significant degree of confidence that this will also involve a paycheck on or about Aug 30. So... unemployed isn't near as horrible as it could be. It's the getting through two months without a paycheck that is horrendous.
So... what to do now?
Hmmm... well, obviously I'll have more time for blogging, but if the entire source of my content is the ramblings of a 4 year old who calls the television remote control a comote (sounds like commode)... it could get old pretty fast.
I have looked for other both temporary and permanent work, with no luck so far...although I did have a pretty amazing interview the other day. I had applied for a position with Saint Leo University as an academic advisor at the Trenton campus. The weird part was that one of the interviewers, unbeknownst to me in advance, was my current assistant superintendent. Argh.
Now I have to say, he's either one of the nicest people on the face of the earth, or he's got the best poker face in town. He didn't in the slightest way shame me, or give me a hard time for looking for other employment. In fact, when the issue of WHY I'm looking for other work came up, he wasn't even the one asking the question (although I'll admit I found that when I was explaining my reasoning, I was mostly addressing him).
So... why would a person with a promise of a teaching position in the fall, in a great school, with great administration and the absolutely most awesome classroom they've ever had, be looking for a new job?
1. Did I mention previously that I'm taking a $23,000 pay cut in taking the teaching position?
2. Going from assistant principal to teacher is a demotion, even if it is entirely because of funding issues, and due to no fault of my own...and my naturally driven, competitive nature wants to be moving FORWARD, not backward.
3. I've got a daughter (Zabby) who'll be graduating from high school about this time next year, who actually hopes to go to college - and I'm really hoping she'll be able to do so without taking on the kind of debt that I did in order to get where I am, which is not something I can help with unless I'm making enough money to live on, pay my own student loans, AND save something on the side.
4. I have another daughter (Katie), same scenario, just 2 years behind her....
5. Don't even get me started on the 4 year old.
Alas... I'm not going to be getting any other jobs. I've somewhat accepted this fact. After 6 weeks of applications, and searching... there is very little in this area for someone with my education and background, due to the budget cuts which have put a LOT of people like me out of work.
So... I'm adapting a new way of thinking...thanks to Sheryl Crowe - It's not having what you want... it's wanting what you've got.
I want to teach. I want to be poor. Oops...now I'm getting redundant.
So... what to do now?
Hmmm... well, obviously I'll have more time for blogging, but if the entire source of my content is the ramblings of a 4 year old who calls the television remote control a comote (sounds like commode)... it could get old pretty fast.
I have looked for other both temporary and permanent work, with no luck so far...although I did have a pretty amazing interview the other day. I had applied for a position with Saint Leo University as an academic advisor at the Trenton campus. The weird part was that one of the interviewers, unbeknownst to me in advance, was my current assistant superintendent. Argh.
Now I have to say, he's either one of the nicest people on the face of the earth, or he's got the best poker face in town. He didn't in the slightest way shame me, or give me a hard time for looking for other employment. In fact, when the issue of WHY I'm looking for other work came up, he wasn't even the one asking the question (although I'll admit I found that when I was explaining my reasoning, I was mostly addressing him).
So... why would a person with a promise of a teaching position in the fall, in a great school, with great administration and the absolutely most awesome classroom they've ever had, be looking for a new job?
1. Did I mention previously that I'm taking a $23,000 pay cut in taking the teaching position?
2. Going from assistant principal to teacher is a demotion, even if it is entirely because of funding issues, and due to no fault of my own...and my naturally driven, competitive nature wants to be moving FORWARD, not backward.
3. I've got a daughter (Zabby) who'll be graduating from high school about this time next year, who actually hopes to go to college - and I'm really hoping she'll be able to do so without taking on the kind of debt that I did in order to get where I am, which is not something I can help with unless I'm making enough money to live on, pay my own student loans, AND save something on the side.
4. I have another daughter (Katie), same scenario, just 2 years behind her....
5. Don't even get me started on the 4 year old.
Alas... I'm not going to be getting any other jobs. I've somewhat accepted this fact. After 6 weeks of applications, and searching... there is very little in this area for someone with my education and background, due to the budget cuts which have put a LOT of people like me out of work.
So... I'm adapting a new way of thinking...thanks to Sheryl Crowe - It's not having what you want... it's wanting what you've got.
I want to teach. I want to be poor. Oops...now I'm getting redundant.
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