I apologize for my lack of contributions these last few days. I have tried to post several times, but it is hard when your usual mode is an aggravated state of irreverence, and the number one thing on your mind is something you feel very reverent about.
On Sunday night, the leader of our church passed away. If you haven't caught on before that I'm a Mormon, then this probably will clue you in.
I didn't know him personally, but I don't know that I've ever admired or respected anyone more than him. He was an enormous influence on me personally. (No, really.... I was even more irreverent and obnoxious before.) Anyway, I have contemplated about a hundred really beautiful tributes to Gordon B. Hinckley, but in the end, I couldn't come up with anything that began to do the man justice.
So, I'm just going to say... what an awesome human being. I'm glad he was here. I'm sorry he's gone. I hope I get to talk to him one day.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Candidates for the CEO of the USA
We're only days away from the Florida primary, which will likely figure significantly into the decision of who will represent the conservative voter in the 2008 Presidential elections, and the pressure is apparently beginning to wear on some of the candidates.
Now, anyone who knows me (or who read my profile) knows I'm a big fan of Mitt Romney - and have been since before he officially announced his plans to run for President. However, I have many times felt my heart tugged by the veteran underdog - John McCain, whose wartime experiences have got to be a major factor in character development. That much said, I don't believe that great character is necessarily the determining factor in choosing a President. There are so many important characteristics that a candidate needs to have. Eventually, I'm going to blow an hour or so identifying every aspect that I believe makes Mr. Romney an awesome candidate. But for now, I am focused on just one topic - finances.
Today, our current President is milling over a plan that will return billions of dollars in tax revenues to the American tax payer, in the form of checks to be mailed out this spring. As a single mom of 3, the potential for receiving a check for about $1500 without having to even fill out any paperwork sends absolute chills up my spine. I'm positively thrilled. I've already picked out the first pair of shoes... ahem... but then again, I won't likely buy them. More likely, I'll use the money to pay off a chunk of the mountain of credit card bills that piled up in the last year, when my health insurance premiums increased more than my annual step-raise, resulting in a decline in my overall income, while one of my children ran up over $28,000 in medical bills. (Makes it kind of hard to whine about the increase in premiums, doesn't it?)
So, you're wondering...why has she wandered off onto this tangent that has nothing to do with the future President of the United States? Bear with me... there's a point to be made here, and if I dig deep enough through this mental sludge, I'll find it.
The President is considering giving billions of dollars BACK to the American public, in hopes of stimulating the declining economy, which is currently leaning so far toward recession it's almost bending over. If this doesn't scare you, you haven't been paying attention. While I'd LOVE to get some free money, this sounds to me like the band-aid without the Neosporin. It's covering up a wound that's just going to fester in the dark, if it isn't treated properly.
That's where Mitt Romney comes in. The man has proven he is a financial whiz. He has a talent for taking bankrupt things and turning them into profitable producers. While we may need a President for a lot of different reasons, at this stage in American society, I believe what we need most is a good candidate for the CEO of the USA - not just because of his financial wizardry, but also his management skills which could potentially turn this slump around. Perhaps the Bushes don't have time to read The World is Flat, or maybe they're just too rich to care. But I believe that in spite of his millions, Romney is conscious of what the average family faces, and how devastating a recession or depression could be. And I believe he's got the know-how to get America back in the black.
Then there's poor old John McCain. Whatever he may have in character and military experience, the man is a buffoon when it comes to finances. Perhaps in a period when America isn't in it's current financial shape, he could be an effective leader. But today, he is not the man for the job.
This idea is neatly summed up on YouTube. Check out this post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu-tg1kQ8dk
This is a product of a Huckabee supporter, but it absolutely cracked me up. Hope you enjoy it too.
(Got the picture at http://timpanogos.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/christian-nation-trap-ensnares-john-mccain/ Something about Millard Fillmore's Bathtub. An interesting site... I'll leave it at that.)
Now, anyone who knows me (or who read my profile) knows I'm a big fan of Mitt Romney - and have been since before he officially announced his plans to run for President. However, I have many times felt my heart tugged by the veteran underdog - John McCain, whose wartime experiences have got to be a major factor in character development. That much said, I don't believe that great character is necessarily the determining factor in choosing a President. There are so many important characteristics that a candidate needs to have. Eventually, I'm going to blow an hour or so identifying every aspect that I believe makes Mr. Romney an awesome candidate. But for now, I am focused on just one topic - finances.
Today, our current President is milling over a plan that will return billions of dollars in tax revenues to the American tax payer, in the form of checks to be mailed out this spring. As a single mom of 3, the potential for receiving a check for about $1500 without having to even fill out any paperwork sends absolute chills up my spine. I'm positively thrilled. I've already picked out the first pair of shoes... ahem... but then again, I won't likely buy them. More likely, I'll use the money to pay off a chunk of the mountain of credit card bills that piled up in the last year, when my health insurance premiums increased more than my annual step-raise, resulting in a decline in my overall income, while one of my children ran up over $28,000 in medical bills. (Makes it kind of hard to whine about the increase in premiums, doesn't it?)
So, you're wondering...why has she wandered off onto this tangent that has nothing to do with the future President of the United States? Bear with me... there's a point to be made here, and if I dig deep enough through this mental sludge, I'll find it.
The President is considering giving billions of dollars BACK to the American public, in hopes of stimulating the declining economy, which is currently leaning so far toward recession it's almost bending over. If this doesn't scare you, you haven't been paying attention. While I'd LOVE to get some free money, this sounds to me like the band-aid without the Neosporin. It's covering up a wound that's just going to fester in the dark, if it isn't treated properly.
That's where Mitt Romney comes in. The man has proven he is a financial whiz. He has a talent for taking bankrupt things and turning them into profitable producers. While we may need a President for a lot of different reasons, at this stage in American society, I believe what we need most is a good candidate for the CEO of the USA - not just because of his financial wizardry, but also his management skills which could potentially turn this slump around. Perhaps the Bushes don't have time to read The World is Flat, or maybe they're just too rich to care. But I believe that in spite of his millions, Romney is conscious of what the average family faces, and how devastating a recession or depression could be. And I believe he's got the know-how to get America back in the black.
Then there's poor old John McCain. Whatever he may have in character and military experience, the man is a buffoon when it comes to finances. Perhaps in a period when America isn't in it's current financial shape, he could be an effective leader. But today, he is not the man for the job.This idea is neatly summed up on YouTube. Check out this post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu-tg1kQ8dk
This is a product of a Huckabee supporter, but it absolutely cracked me up. Hope you enjoy it too.
(Got the picture at http://timpanogos.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/christian-nation-trap-ensnares-john-mccain/ Something about Millard Fillmore's Bathtub. An interesting site... I'll leave it at that.)
The Demise of Miss America
So, this afternoon I watched a little news clip about one of tonight's Miss America pageant contestants (more on that to come)... and the newsman made a comment about how the pageant is losing its shine- ratings are down, and people have lost interest, particularly in comparison to the early days of the competition. I contemplated this issue for at least 30 seconds, before I developed my personal theory on the demise of Miss America.
The first issue, I believe, is honesty. After all of the pageant mayhem we have been witness to over the last 15 to 20 years, as a result of living in an almost-instant media society, it's a lot harder to find 50 girls who can pass the honesty test, and really come off as squeaky clean as the Miss America image is supposed to be. This shouldn't be too much of a surprise, in my view, since the expectations are so unbalanced. They want to reject women who might have had their picture taken by an ex-boyfriend in the nude, but they expect them to dance and sing on stage, in front of millions of viewers, in a string bikini. To my way of thinking, the nudie picture with the ex-boyfriend would be a lot easier for the average girl to pull off (pardon the pun). I also have to point out that I think it is pretty unrealistic to hold our nation's President to a lower standard of conduct than the one expected of Miss America. (If you don't get my point, I've got two words for you - Bill Clinton. Enough said.)
The next issue, in my opinion, is the change in American values in general. Miss America celebrates the beauty, poise, and talents of what is becoming a smaller and smaller segment of the American population. The vast majority of participants live a social and financial advantage not experienced by the average American girl. When teenagers face real challenges, like so many do today, how impressed are they going to be as very young adults struggling to make a living, by the tap-dancing talents of an empty-headed blonde South Carolina debutante? I'd love to see the pageant ditch the "Miss" part altogether, and open itself up to those single working moms. I'd love to see the scholarship money go to sponsoring some of the less privileged young ladies in our population, so that you don't have to be able to afford a $600 dress to be considered for the first of three or four feeder competitions to the big one. I'd REALLY love to see participants included whose beauty doesn't necessarily all reflect on the outside of their bodies. I want to see chubby girls with fresh faces and sharp minds take on those empty-headed blondes, once in a while! And I'd throw out that stupid swimsuit competition all together (and not just because of the chunky girls parading around the stage!). How about a little triathlon of diaper changing, oil changing, and budgeted shopping instead? That's more like what the average American 25 year old needs to be a master of these days anyway!
Okay, all that said, I have to mention the girl who was brought up in the video that instigated this little rant. She's definitely a step closer to the real Miss America, to my way of thinking.
She's Miss Utah, Jill Stevens, and she happens to be a sergeant in the National Guard - a military medic - and an Afghanistan veteran, who can disassemble her M16 in under 2 minutes, blindfolded. (I imagine I could manage to shoot myself in the foot with it in under 2 minutes, without the blindfold!) The clip on her was really impressive, and I came away thinking - now there's a girl that has earned the right to be called Miss America. She risked her life to protect and care for our soldiers who are serving overseas, and yet she's still beautiful and funny, and seems pretty intelligent to boot. I'm looking forward to seeing tonight what her talent is going to be. (I don't think the M16 thing would help her win, but she'd definitely get points for originality.) I'm also curious to see if she wears the very modest evening gown she was wearing in the Miss Utah competition. I'd love to see a woman win who has an increased sense of decency, and who is a better role model for my two teenage daughters who will doubtlessly be watching. It would be particularly ir
onic in the year when those Miss America promoters are advertising that the pageant will be "less Victorian, more Victoria's Secret."
That much said, yes, Miss Utah may be a Mormon but that has no more to do with my rooting for her than does the religious orientation of my favorite Presidential candidate, Mitt Romney. (Interpret that however you like.) Then again, you know she might have ended up with higher standards even if her Mama hadn't been a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. She might by nature just be a girl who knows you don't have to be semi-naked to look beautiful, and has enough self-confidence to risk just being herself. Imagine that.
The pageant is tonight at 8 on, oddly enough, TLC (The Learning Channel). I wonder if it will teach us anything.
(By the way, these lovely images of Miss Utah are borrowed from the Deseret Morning News, article located at : http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,5143,695247425,00.html , photographer Keith Johnson, with my thanks!)
** 9:35 update: Well, the competition is a long way from over, but I'm already disgusted with it. I was thrilled to see that Miss Utah was chosen as the "16th" runner up - making it into the semi-finals based on the votes of the American public. But apparently America isn't equipped to choose it's own candidate for Miss America. She was immediately eliminated when, in the swimsuit competition, she was the only candidate who elected to go on stage in a one-piece swimsuit, who opted NOT to play "trollops on patrol" as most of the other contestants did, apparently thinking they were in a hip hop video instead of vying for a role in which they represent America's view of femininity. To make matters worse, in the same round, the illustrious judges, clearly smoking something, also eliminated Miss Florida and Miss Mississippi. I remain disgusted. In the past, they've only allowed us a glimpse of these women before making these cuts, and it wasn't nearly so offensive. I'm not sure the so-called new and improved Miss America format is a good idea, where the public has a chance to really get to know the contestants before they are slashed by the judges who apparently think this is the Miss Hollywood contest. Okay, I've officially watched my last pageant. Yuck.
The first issue, I believe, is honesty. After all of the pageant mayhem we have been witness to over the last 15 to 20 years, as a result of living in an almost-instant media society, it's a lot harder to find 50 girls who can pass the honesty test, and really come off as squeaky clean as the Miss America image is supposed to be. This shouldn't be too much of a surprise, in my view, since the expectations are so unbalanced. They want to reject women who might have had their picture taken by an ex-boyfriend in the nude, but they expect them to dance and sing on stage, in front of millions of viewers, in a string bikini. To my way of thinking, the nudie picture with the ex-boyfriend would be a lot easier for the average girl to pull off (pardon the pun). I also have to point out that I think it is pretty unrealistic to hold our nation's President to a lower standard of conduct than the one expected of Miss America. (If you don't get my point, I've got two words for you - Bill Clinton. Enough said.)
The next issue, in my opinion, is the change in American values in general. Miss America celebrates the beauty, poise, and talents of what is becoming a smaller and smaller segment of the American population. The vast majority of participants live a social and financial advantage not experienced by the average American girl. When teenagers face real challenges, like so many do today, how impressed are they going to be as very young adults struggling to make a living, by the tap-dancing talents of an empty-headed blonde South Carolina debutante? I'd love to see the pageant ditch the "Miss" part altogether, and open itself up to those single working moms. I'd love to see the scholarship money go to sponsoring some of the less privileged young ladies in our population, so that you don't have to be able to afford a $600 dress to be considered for the first of three or four feeder competitions to the big one. I'd REALLY love to see participants included whose beauty doesn't necessarily all reflect on the outside of their bodies. I want to see chubby girls with fresh faces and sharp minds take on those empty-headed blondes, once in a while! And I'd throw out that stupid swimsuit competition all together (and not just because of the chunky girls parading around the stage!). How about a little triathlon of diaper changing, oil changing, and budgeted shopping instead? That's more like what the average American 25 year old needs to be a master of these days anyway!
Okay, all that said, I have to mention the girl who was brought up in the video that instigated this little rant. She's definitely a step closer to the real Miss America, to my way of thinking.
She's Miss Utah, Jill Stevens, and she happens to be a sergeant in the National Guard - a military medic - and an Afghanistan veteran, who can disassemble her M16 in under 2 minutes, blindfolded. (I imagine I could manage to shoot myself in the foot with it in under 2 minutes, without the blindfold!) The clip on her was really impressive, and I came away thinking - now there's a girl that has earned the right to be called Miss America. She risked her life to protect and care for our soldiers who are serving overseas, and yet she's still beautiful and funny, and seems pretty intelligent to boot. I'm looking forward to seeing tonight what her talent is going to be. (I don't think the M16 thing would help her win, but she'd definitely get points for originality.) I'm also curious to see if she wears the very modest evening gown she was wearing in the Miss Utah competition. I'd love to see a woman win who has an increased sense of decency, and who is a better role model for my two teenage daughters who will doubtlessly be watching. It would be particularly ir
onic in the year when those Miss America promoters are advertising that the pageant will be "less Victorian, more Victoria's Secret."That much said, yes, Miss Utah may be a Mormon but that has no more to do with my rooting for her than does the religious orientation of my favorite Presidential candidate, Mitt Romney. (Interpret that however you like.) Then again, you know she might have ended up with higher standards even if her Mama hadn't been a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. She might by nature just be a girl who knows you don't have to be semi-naked to look beautiful, and has enough self-confidence to risk just being herself. Imagine that.
The pageant is tonight at 8 on, oddly enough, TLC (The Learning Channel). I wonder if it will teach us anything.
(By the way, these lovely images of Miss Utah are borrowed from the Deseret Morning News, article located at : http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,5143,695247425,00.html , photographer Keith Johnson, with my thanks!)
** 9:35 update: Well, the competition is a long way from over, but I'm already disgusted with it. I was thrilled to see that Miss Utah was chosen as the "16th" runner up - making it into the semi-finals based on the votes of the American public. But apparently America isn't equipped to choose it's own candidate for Miss America. She was immediately eliminated when, in the swimsuit competition, she was the only candidate who elected to go on stage in a one-piece swimsuit, who opted NOT to play "trollops on patrol" as most of the other contestants did, apparently thinking they were in a hip hop video instead of vying for a role in which they represent America's view of femininity. To make matters worse, in the same round, the illustrious judges, clearly smoking something, also eliminated Miss Florida and Miss Mississippi. I remain disgusted. In the past, they've only allowed us a glimpse of these women before making these cuts, and it wasn't nearly so offensive. I'm not sure the so-called new and improved Miss America format is a good idea, where the public has a chance to really get to know the contestants before they are slashed by the judges who apparently think this is the Miss Hollywood contest. Okay, I've officially watched my last pageant. Yuck.
Friday, January 25, 2008
The Meaning of Life
I thought, when I decided to start a blog, that I would probably save this tidbit for last, but having considered it a bit, I've determined that it is the entire point. So I am going to share it now, and get it out of the way, with the added caveat that this should in no way imply that I will not bring this subject up again, or neglect to expound upon it in the future.
If you happen to be a member of the LDS church (Mormon- peculiar though we may be)... this might make a little more sense to you. If not, I'll bet you could still figure it out.
My darling daughter, fully a random genius in her own right, asked me one day, "Mom, what exactly is the meaning of life?" Unshaken, I replied in my usual flash of brilliance:
"My dear, life is like a huge video game, where the entire purpose is for us to successfully navigate the maze and return unfettered to the spot where we began."
Return with honor. That was probably my most awesome moment of motherhood. I know this, because my excessively literate and vivaciously verbose teenager responded with, "Oh, okay," smiled, and walked away.
What bliss.
If you happen to be a member of the LDS church (Mormon- peculiar though we may be)... this might make a little more sense to you. If not, I'll bet you could still figure it out.
My darling daughter, fully a random genius in her own right, asked me one day, "Mom, what exactly is the meaning of life?" Unshaken, I replied in my usual flash of brilliance:
"My dear, life is like a huge video game, where the entire purpose is for us to successfully navigate the maze and return unfettered to the spot where we began."
Return with honor. That was probably my most awesome moment of motherhood. I know this, because my excessively literate and vivaciously verbose teenager responded with, "Oh, okay," smiled, and walked away.
What bliss.
Cold Days, Warm Bread
If you have ever baked fresh bread, or walked into a bakery early in the morning, or driven past the Merita factory in Omaha on a cold day, you are probably well aware of the incredible, rich, sweet smell that can only be created when flour and yeast and some form of moisture meet up in a warm environment and start making friends. If you are a carb-aholic, like me, this is the smell of sin itself. But as I try to resist the urge to consume every slice of fresh-baked bread in the house, my mind begins to wander...and wonder... how exactly is it that bread rises? What miracle of science and nature creates those tiny little bubbles in the dough which lift and shape the dough, creating the single most popular and nourishing item of human consumption?
Now, scientists probably have some very concise explanation for this miraculous event, but who needs science when I can create my own explanation? Here goes: yeast are like tiny little sleeping mogwai (remember gremlins?) that only wake up when you get them wet. Then, they eat, like the ravenous little beasts they are, clumps of surrounding dough. As holes are produced in the dough, the yeasty-beasts (that's my own technical terminology) fart - a lot - which fills the holes, creating the lift that separates bread from brick, and makes the amazing scent which carb-aholics like me dream of every night.
So - we're sniffing gremlin farts. If that doesn't help me tackle this low-carb diet, nothing will!
Welcome to My Dream
Aren't blogs the coolest thing? I am one of those would-be writers who has dreamed since childhood of the countless millions who would be amused and amazed upon exposure to my many pearls of wisdom - or cowplops of stupidity, whichever might apply. Without contacts in the newspaper industry, the likelihood of this dream ever becoming a reality for me was intensely small, until the advent of the blog. Now I just have to convince a few million people to take a shot at reading my dribble, and my dreams will all come true! ... Well, except for the part where I become a millionaire and retire to some remote cabin in the mountains. Enjoy!!
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